Get up 4:30am. Have a smoke. (I know I know shut up I'm working on it) Let the dog pee. Check to see if there's any leftover coffee because there's no time to make a new pot right now. Feed the animals. Drink the leftover coffee. (Yeah yeah yeah. I need my coffee shut up) Watch the local news on the TV while checking the national/international news on the phone. Stifle vocalizing my anger so Kasia can sleep.
Meowmewow meow moewmeowmeow! Ok. Shawn is done.
Scrape. Clang! Skitter skitter. Fump! Ok. Tony is done.
Continue reading.
Tappa tappa tappa. Tiny mew. Ok. Pete is done. Let him out of the bathroom.
Continue reading. Check the weather forecast for central and eastern Washington, and western Montana.
No noise from the office. Gus is probably done. Release the Gus and collect the food bowls.
Tony bolts to attention. Kasia must be up. It's almost 5am. Wag wag wag! He launches himself off the couch scattering the cats... except for Gus. He stands firm like that one orc during the Siege of Gondor in the Return of the King movie.
"Hi Tony!" Tony goes nuts. His favorite person is here! He thinks to himself, "Oh my gawd! I gotta show her my thing!" His thing is his Kong. He's very proud of it and uses it as a form of economic exchange. Damn smart dog!
"Hi hoosbahnd!" Mwah. "Are you all ready? What have you forgotten?"
"Pretty sure I have everything." I don't. I'll eventually wind up buying yet another fucking toothbrush, toothpaste as well as shampoo and conditioner at the end of the day.
My goal was to be on the way to the gas station at 5am, but that didn't happen. I'm working on not getting as aggravated by being late or behind schedule. It's working this morning. It's still early enough that I'll miss the bulk of the shit show that is the drive on 405 between Southcenter and I90.
"Do you need any help?"
"Yes please. Could you carry this bag to the car?"
Kasia grabs the backpack while I grab my clothing and camera bags. Stuff them into the back of the Prius. Survey the front garden. It's a thing of beauty even at this early stage.
Head back inside. Say my goodbyes.
"Drive safely. Text me with updates."
"Love you. Will do!"
Hop in the car. It's 5:23am. Choose my listening material for the first stage of the drive. Head to the Fred Meyers for gas. Log my mileage... dad would be proud. Head to the Starbucks. Grande cold brew... just the slightest skosh of half and half. DAMMIT! Too much! It still tastes more like coffee than cream, so it'll do. Grab my bacon, egg, and gouda sandwich.
Get back in the car. It's almost 6am. Laugh a little bit about how I wanted to be on the road at 5am. Put the phone in the hands free mount. Next stop will be Ellensburg, so I need about 2 hours of listening material. I have a couple "Wait, wait! Don't tell me"s lined up. Hit play. Pull out onto 148th aimed straight at 518. Cross 1st Ave S where 148th becomes 518. There's a new merge here, so be extra careful. Scream at the people who can't figure out how to get on a freeway at freeway speed, then yell at the asshole in... surprise surprise!... a Mercedes who merges across 3 lanes without a blinker, leaving maybe 6 feet between his car and mine. I hope he's late for his flight.
There's not much airport traffic, so the merge before I5/405 is relatively easy.
405. If I believed in a hell, this would be it for me. The merge from 518 to 405 is always messy. Giant trucks, oblivious to the smaller vehicles on the road are merging right without looking so they can make the first exit off 405. Get past this game of Frogger and onto 405 proper.
It's light this morning thankfully. But wait... what's this? A Porsche Cayenne driver? Wonderful. If there's anything more clueless, entitled, and dangerous on the road, I can't think of it. It's on the phone, veering right and then jerking back into its lane. Repeatedly. Gauge the timing. Blast past this entitled piece of shit on the right and put a couple car lengths between me and this inevitable collision.
The Renton curves. Again, thankfully it's lighter today. Moving along at around 40mph. The curves end. Here we go, we're back up to 60 again. Make the merge to the 90 east exit and make sure I'm up to freeway speed for this next stupid merge. When you get onto 90 off of 405 north, you have to merge over two lanes to continue heading east on 90 or you have to exit into Bellevue/Factoria. Traffic is light, so it's a breeze today, but it's usually a pain in the ass.
Between Bellevue and the last Issaquah exit, you have to be careful. Not sure why, but there are usually a few highway patrol hanging out here. Wait for the first 70mph sign, then open up.
Next stop... Ellensburg for coffee and peeing.
I love the drive between Issaquah and Ellensburg. Especially at this time of day. Around 7am in the late spring. The Cascades are gorgeous! Laugh along with the NPR comedy show. Try to enjoy the view. Got little sleep, so crack a sugar free Red Bull.
Cle Elum. Yup. As per usual, need to pee. There's a rest stop up ahead that I would usually stop at when traveling with Roscoe. I am sans canine today, so I power past the rest stop. Ellensburg is only 25 minutes away. Take the second Ellensburg exit. Turn right at the intersection. Stop at the Starbucks. Pee. Order another grande cold brew. Screw the half and half this time. I'll probably fuck up the ratio again. Get in the car. Think I'll do French lessons for a few hours. Turn on the French lesson audio book.
Get back on 90. Aim the car at the Columbia River Gorge. It's late May, so it's green here rather than the brown I'm used to. It's beautiful out.
Admire the giant wind turbines as I approach Vantage and the Columbia River Bridge. Get a little nostalgic from Vantage through George because a lot of We Take The Low Road was shot here. Good memories.
Now... prepare for the impending boredom from George until Couer D'Alene. Flat. Hot. Boring for about 150 miles, knowing all the while that a mere few miles north or south of I90 there is copious beautiful and interesting landscape to be had.
Moses Lake, Ritzville, Sprague, Medicine Lake... Spokane. Speed the fuck through Spokane. Dad died there, so speed through unless I'm there for an industry event or Fishbone is playing.
Idaho! Make the usual stop in Post Falls for lunch and gas. Wipe some of the road off of my face.
Get a soda and some water for the remaining drive. Ooooo! Cashews! Now it's time for some music. Queue up some Metallica and Mastodon. METAL!
Power through the remaining 70 miles of Idaho. Beyond Coeur D'Alene, it's a gorgeous drive.
Wallace, Idaho. Prepare for the steep climb, most likely in a single lane behind semis going 15mph. Woo hoo! Both lanes are open today! Hit the summit! Montana!
It's pretty much literally all downhill from here. 101 miles of road that make a Prius very happy. Full battery and gas mileage that makes my wallet VERY happy. There are little valleys scattered throughout this 85 mile stretch of mountain driving. Beautiful little nooks of natural wonder. Blast past the 50,000 Silver Dollar tourist trap because fuck that place.
Just before Frenchtown, I90 comes finally exits the mountains. 80MPH speed limit! Woo hoo! I haven't seen a Highway Patrol car since Issaquah. I'm cruising at around 90MPH. Frenchtown, I'm basically in Missoula now. 12 or so minutes.
I'm not heading directly to Corvallis this time, so I get off the freeway at exit 104 instead of 101 this time. It's 2pm PST, 3PM Mountain time. Nice. 8 hours from leaving the Starbucks in Burien to landing in Missoula with a coffee stop and a lunch/gas break. Was getting good gas mileage. Probably could have made it to Wallace on a single 10 gallon tank!
Pull over for a moment. Map out my hotel. I still don't know Missoula terribly well other than Reserve Road and the downtown corridor. 1100 block of West Broadway. Ok. Cool. I know how to find that.
I pull up to my hotel. It's a total shithole. If I have a super power, it's the ability to find the worst hotel in town that hires really good photographers for their Expedia listings.
Guy at the front desk informs me that he used to live in Washington, but moved to Montana in the 70s. I tell him that I'm here to kick off the first year of a filmmaking competition.
"Oh! Is it porn? That would be cool."
"No. It's not porn." I respond, continually amazed by the shit Montanans will say to complete strangers.
He's nice, but I'm still put off by the porn thing. Just give me my key so I can discover the true depths of awfulness this shithole has in store for me.
Keys. Room 109. Open door. Oh fuck. This is terrible. It's no Hollywood 7 Star Hotel off La Brea and Hollywood Blvd. bad or Rijeka onion picker graveyard bad, but it's bad. It will do. I'm only here two nights and it has a desk where I can write this story. Towels are clean. Bed looks like it's been maintained to a minimum level of sanitary compliance. Let Kasia know I arrived safely.
Head to the Missoula Fresh Mart, expecting it to be something like a Whole Foods or PCC. Nope. It's basically a Safeway with a better cheese collection. Get some beverages, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and some various sundries.
Nap!
Ok. It's 7pm. Haven't eaten since 10:30. I've had some really good food in Missoula before. Check yelp to see if there's a decent pizza place nearby. The highest rated place that delivers has some legit looking pictures of their pies. They look like proper Roman style pizzas. The reviews are glowing. I order a pepperoni with minced garlic.
The pizza arrives. Damn! I shouldn't be surprised that it doesn't look 1/10 as good as the photos on Yelp. It's just alright. Dough is a little too soft. Not as crispy as it should be for being so thin. Sauce lacks any sweetness or acidity. All savory. Again, it's not bad. It's just not terribly good either.
It's warm. Fiddle with the AC unit that looks likes it will either fall out of the window or explode any minute now. Get it to a comfortable temperature. Watch a bunch of South Park until Adult Swim comes on. Fall asleep to Bob's Burgers.
Comentarios