Where the streets have no Anthrax

It was July. Seattle 2020. Hot. Smoky. The air was so thick you couldn't see a block in front of you. Think LA in 1985.

The phone rings. It's Dima. Haven't seen him in months because entitled people think that wearing masks is akin to "bending one's knee to tyranny". Amidst all the smoke are microscopic virus particles making people so ill that they're dying by the thousands every day all over the world, but you know... whatever. Give me convenience or give me death.

Anyway...

I answer the phone. A conversation with Dima is sure to provide some much needed levity and laughter at a time when those very things are needed most. I'm in our beautiful back yard in Burien, Washington. Bees flitter about. The garden is in full bloom, though the tomatoes aren't ripening.

"Hey!" Dima says in his Russian accent.

"Yo!" I say in my Left Coast accent.

We catch up with the little stuff, gush about our respective spouses, grouse about the weather and the fact that idiots are prolonging this pandemic because they don't want to suffer mild inconvenience for even a second, and finally he asks the questions.

"Do you have some time to help edit some music videos?" Dima asks.

"Fuck yeah I do! Who's it for" I reply excited by the possibility of juxtaposing synchronized series of moving images to pre-recorded music.

"Have you ever heard of a band called Anthrax?" Dima asks with a hint of uncertainty.

In my head I'm screaming, "Dima! I thought you knew me better than this! I thought we were friends!"

Simultaneously, my jaw figuratively drops to the floor.

"ANTHRAX?! Holy shit! Uh. Yeah. I know Anthrax!" erupts from my mouth, followed by a silent "NOT!"

"Cool. I've been working Charlie on his Covid cover song videos."

"No shit?! Those are great! Especially the Rush songs he's been doing with Ra and Alex!"

"Thanks! Well, Anthrax is recording some video for an online metal festival and I'm swamped. I have 3 videos..."

I cut Dima off. "I'll do two! What songs?"

""Time, I am the Law, and Madhouse..."

I cut Dima off again. "I Am the Law and Madhouse! When do I get the footage?"

Dima finds my excitement amusing, though I secretly suspect he's making fun of me in his mind brain. He gives me all the details and when to expect footage and a final master of the audio.

HOLY SHIT I'M WORKING FOR ANTHRAX! (The pay is minimal, but this is the kind of work I would pay to do!)

Over the next few days I would giggle with glee as footage of my teenage heroes moshed across my screen. Holy shit! There's Scott! There's Charlie! There's Frank! There's Joey! There's the (relatively) new guy, Jonathan! There is no way in hell 15 year old me would believe this is happening and 20 year old me is disappointed that it took 48 year old me to make this happen. 20 year old me can fuck off. He's a dick.

Editing takes a few days. Multiple takes by multiple members... none of who are camera professionals makes for some work, but at least getting the footage synced was easy, so I have to thank them for that!

The crazy thing about the whole process is that I'm in touch with Charlie via text, email and phone over the next couple of days. They say you should never meet your heroes, but Charlie is THE nicest guy. Encouraging, but critical. Supportive, but demanding. Never unreasonable and always helpful. Basically, he's the perfect client. I resist the urge to fanboy out on him, but still manage to let him know what a huge fan I am and how honored I am to be working on this!

Charlie finally signs off on the two videos. These two videos.

So now... it's over. For now. I watch the videos air at the 2020 virtual Wacken metal fest with much glee.

Back to choking on the smoke filled air of the Washington 2020 summer. Fret about the upcoming election. Play with the dogs. Marvel at the brick and mortar wonder of a pizza oven Kasia designs and builds all on her own.

A couple weeks later, I get an email from Charlie!

"Hey man! I'm shooting footage for a cover of U2's 'City of Blinding Lights" with Frank and Mark from Death Angel. Familiar with them? Dima's busy and I could use some help"

AM I FAMILIAR WITH DEATH ANGEL?!?! My first ever mosh pit was at a Death Angel show at Mountain View Theater in 1987! Death Angel is my fucking spirit animal! "Yes. I'm a DA fan for sure," I reply calmly barely containing my excitement.

Over the next couple of days, I get emails and texts from Charlie, Frank, and Mark Fucking Osegueda!

The cover song is brilliant. Charlie nails the plinky plinky guitar style that The Edge is legendary for... and very difficult to sync to video as it turns out! Mark is one of the single most METAL singers that has ever walked the earth. So much metal exudes from that man! But holy shit can he do a great Bono! Not surprising given the fact that he sang vocals on songs like Veil of Deception and Room With A View on Death Angel's album, Act 3. (Which should have been a massive commercial success!)

Frank belts out beautiful backing vocals that match beautifully with Mark's flawless Bono lead vocals.

There's a ton of emails back and forth between the 4 of us. Mark and Frank are super appreciative and supportive of the work and a definite pleasure to work with. Charlie? More of the same. A real pro in every sense of the word.

I eventually get final approval on the video and my work with 3 of my metal heroes has ended. A fanfuckingtastic experience and some work I can feel very proud of.

Mark, Frank, Scott, Joey, Charlie, Jonathan... any time you need some editing or photos... I'm your guy!